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Prevention Solutions - Teenager
[ Page 1 of 4 | print friendly version ]What to do When Siblings Fight
A client who is a single mom recently shared her fears and anxiety around her two teenage daughters and their recent physical fight. The older daughter would not stop verbally attacking her younger sister to the point where the younger daughter saw no other option except to hit her older sister. Their mother could see how both girls are at fault and contacted me because she did not know how to best handle this level of acting out in their home.
First, Create Safety
The most important way to approach violence is by creating safety. This can be done by having a very clear and agreed to boundary, where the consequences are spelled out in advance and clearly understood by everyone in the home. Be sure to choose consequences that you will be able to follow through with – whether it is calling the police; giving them a week to move out of the house; locking them in their rooms; taking away their privileges, etc.
These situations are so emotional and frightening, that getting the kids safe is the number one component, and you may want to cool down for a bit before setting a boundary that may be difficult to impossible to carry out. Separating them and then giving yourself some quiet time to think, and time to connect with a coach, a counselor, a trusted friend, or your spouse/partner if you have one, is always a good option. Let them stew in the “not knowing” of what their consequences will be – and give yourself some time to come up with a plan that will work for you first and foremost.
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