Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Chapter 1: What To Do About Conflict
A Three-page Free Preview from our E-Book:
Conquering Conflict: Techniques and Strategies For Resolving Blended Family Conflict
By Emily Bouchard, MSSW, blended and bio family coach, 20/20P Founding Contributor
Here’s the secret that changed my life: Freedom comes when you understand the following concept: What looks like anger directed at you is often not about you at all.
As a coach dedicated to bringing peace back into blended families, I work with stepparents in crisis over the phone or through Instant Messaging and/or email. Within 10 minutes of talking with a distressed stepmom who is feeling thoroughly demoralized and defeated, I have her breathing a sigh of relief and even laughing!
How do I do it? By shifting her perspective and turning what was painful and awful into something wonderful and magical. What’s the trick? Blowing the lid off the myths and beliefs that have her so miserable.
Popular Myth #1: When my stepchild is angry or upset with me, something is wrong.
I dispel this myth in two ways.
(1) I ask some simple questions: What if anger wasn’t a bad thing? What if anger was a healthy human emotion that, when expressed appropriately, allows for more intimacy and connection?
(2) I offer this little known fact: When a stepchild is angry at a stepmom, it is a terrific sign and it means that the stepchild trusts the stepmother enough to be real and honest. The stepmother must be doing something right for the child to be able to get angry with her.
Note: When you believe this to be true in ALL your relationships, you become truly empowered in the face of anger.
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