Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Chapter 1: What To Do About Conflict
A Three-page Free Preview from our E-Book:
Conquering Conflict: Techniques and Strategies For Resolving Blended Family Conflict
By Emily Bouchard, MSSW, blended and bio family coach, 20/20P Founding Contributor
Oftentimes when you react with anger or irritation, you’re actually not dealing with underlying feelings of sadness and fear within yourself. Here’s an example of how this happened for me not too long ago:
My three-year-old step-granddaughter was playing at my feet while I was working. She left one of her toys under my chair and went to do something else. I got irritated and frustrated with her and asked her to take care of her stuff, and I showed her all the toys she’d left around my office.
After she gathered up all her little things and left my office, my irritation with her shifted to feeling very sad and disappointed in myself. I asked myself why I didn’t take the time to be with her and play with her. Why was the need for my space to be tidy more important than taking time to connect with my step-granddaughter?
As I took time to answer these questions, I remembered how my mom was meticulous about my childhood home. There was a place for everything and everything in its place. The more stressed she was about something, the more she would focus on cleaning. In the situation with my step-granddaughter, I was feeling stressed as I prepared to move to a new state and far away from her. This is a good example of how we as children take on the beliefs and needs of our parents.
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