Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Chapter 1: What To Do About Conflict
A Three-page Free Preview from our E-Book:
Conquering Conflict: Techniques and Strategies For Resolving Blended Family Conflict
By Emily Bouchard, MSSW, blended and bio family coach, 20/20P Founding Contributor
We fool ourselves with our beliefs that life is predictable and that we know how long we’ll be together. The truth is that we never know. Children of divorce are very aware that their home and family situation can change without warning. In each moment you have the option to be present and enjoy the members of your family, or you can wish that things were different and miss out on all the rich connecting and sharing time that’s available to you.
Here’s a great example of this concept: Alex, a dad who has his children half-time, chose to move a half hour away from where his children go to school, in order to live with his new wife and her children. While he was happy to be in a new relationship, he dreaded the long commute and the loss of easier access to his children during the weeks they are with their mother. Once Alex learned that he was in charge of his level of enjoyment or misery with the new situation, he decided to relish the extra long commute and the rich, uninterrupted time he had with his children. With all the changes in their lives, this became one of their favorite times together, where they could connect without the distractions of home and life. Their car-time became quality dad time!
Of course as human beings we will continue to have times when we are reactive, irritated and angry. As you learn the tools of awareness and understanding, you empower yourself to take responsibility for your behavior when those emotions arise. Plus, you’ll catch yourself sooner (preferably in that moment) and shift from who you have always been to a person who chooses who you want to be.
Action Step...
© 2004 Emily and Darryl Bouchard
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