Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Letters to Kerry
Stories of Victory, Struggle, Tragedy, & Workplace Concerns
June 27 , 2005:
Here is a great success story! - K
Hi Kerry,
I too understand how you felt with Ryan. I have 2 adopted daughters. Laura who is six months older was brought home at 4 days old & I loved her immediately. I wanted to be the best mother but from the beginning Laura was a challenge even before she got into drugs. I don't think she ever felt like she fit in or was good enough & when she started drinking at 16 she thought this was what she had been waiting for all her life. When she got into crystal meth at 17, my life was in chaos, money kept disappearing from my wallet & her behavior was more bizarre & volatile. She was spending more time in her room or not coming home at all.
In February we sent her to a treatment center in the states where she would only stay for a little over a month. With all of us signing our contract for her new behavior, I began my insane mission of driving her to outpatient programs, drug counselors & a.a. meetings. I was checking her room reading her dark letters & finding her drug paraphernalia. It was so crazy & painful. She decided to live in a group home. I was getting in her way of using. In August Laura was at summer camp. She was always great with kids. She didn't want anything to do with me at that point. I felt like such a failure as a mother & couldn't understand why she wasn't stopping, but I knew she was dying as I was. She was a ghost, her eyes were dead. She behaved like a monster or she was delusional & not making sense.
We were a good family, where did I go wrong? I was so desperate I tricked her into going to aarc (which is a [one] year treatment center). During treatment she left 3 times to use but always came back to aarc. I was done. I was never taking her back home until she finished treatment. We graduated Sept 4th. I came home & left her in Calgary. She relapsed & signed herself back into treatment for a month (refresher relapse treatment). That was in Dec.
Today she is home for the summer (maybe longer). She has six months sobriety & she has the tools to stay sober. It’s wonderful to see her start to win. I truly believe there is a predisposition to this disease & even if you are a wonderful parent you cannot prevent this. It affects all classes, knows no boundaries. I thank aarc for our lives. As parents I think we need the support of mandatory treatment for our kids. I tried to get help for my daughter & there wasn't anything out there. Please stress treatment. I support you in what you are doing but I don't believe good parenting is enough in this terrible disease.
Vicki Pedersen
It seems to me that good parenting has been overly stressed for too long, in that it is we who are often blamed for our children's troubles (by society at large). And it is true that we are in the best position to influence them as they grow into wise and responsible adults.
It really takes a community, however, to do the best job. A community that provides a safe, protective, clean, nurturing, and supportive environment in which we all can thrive in good health and happiness. It also takes parents with 20/20 foresight (awareness & skills) to be in the best position to help their children avoid drug abuse and full-blown addiction. This program is designed for youth under 19 in the 3rd or 4th stage of addiction. www.aarc.ab.ca – K
