Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Letters to Kerry
Stories of Victory, Struggle, Tragedy, & Workplace Concerns
May 20, 2005:
A poem written by a lovely young man who has fought to regain his life and wishes to warn others of the reality of crystal meth addiction -K
Nightmare on High Street
Hi, my name is Moe Max, I'm 27 and I have been high on meth for 6 yrs.
Gross huh?
I would have never thought I would have done this drug as long as I have.
When I was 21 I thought I would try the drug only once, how wrong I was.
When you do the drug, don't let the drug do you.
Addiction's High - Life's a MESS!
I used to be a tweeker it wasn't long ago.
I noticed I got weaker and my bones began to show.
It started out as something fun, I could do with all my friends.
In my tears I could drown. Longing for just ONE more hit.
Addiction is easy, feed it when you can.
Its ok just come and play.
How about a bump, so what do you say.
I'll stick by you if you stick by me, lets do a line just you and me.
F..ked up, mentally and physically.
Can't eat. Can't think. Can't sit. Can't sleep!
Don't care. Won't stop. Can't quit ~ One more hit!
Trip the trigger. Overdrive thrust. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
But through it all I've remained strong,
forever trying to prove all of you wrong.
Still, it seems as though no matter what I do ~
NOTHING will be proof enough for you.
Can't you stop putting me down? Let me smile for once instead of frown.
Try to help and throw me a rope. Don't keep pushing me DEEPER into DOPE!
A delusional mind. And physical breakdown of the body.
Things seem just fine now that you've tried me.
Still yes, I know, as all will say, there is a chance to flee,
but somehow I find comfort, in not having to be free.
Numbing the pain and becoming lost, you could care less what it cost.
It's hard to stay clean, when things are falling apart. I told you quite clearly.
That I'm falling apart.
Now because all I love is gone do I do dope.
Self-medicating and trying to cope.
Then I saw you through glass, how clear it was then,
as the smoke swirled and rose from the crystal within.
I'm still yearning for it. I will call you "sweet love"
I love to tweak and do dope and pass out.
You don't understand, until you give it a try,
I'm gonna keep tripping till the day I die.
Get a grip, don't loose your sanity.
Now go look in the mirror, what do you see?
The hollow remains of what use to be.
This person that I hate, I can't stand to be,
this person that I see; this person is now me.
All too well known this art of twirling
the perfected pipe curling creating circular smoke swirling.
Realizing there does exist a finish just let the bag diminish.
In your house and in your mind you tweek and jone's behind the blinds.
I got sick my body physically and mentally.
Vomit, cramps and withdrawal pains.
Guts tied in knots, hot chills and cold sweats. Need my crystal bowl.
Speed kills but what a way to die. It's one big roller coaster ride.
My hands are shaking, I have bad dreams, of buying my drugs,
I'm craving it seems.
All my friends were nothing but backstabbers liars and fakes.
when they were down and needed my help I was there,
but now I see that they weren't trying to play fair.
My only love, Crystal Meth. Even when things get sketchy.
Forever tweaking, never sleeping.
That's cause the crystal plays with you.
I'm so f..king stupid for trying this dope, now I'm addicted to my own
misery with no hope. My thoughts are wac, I'm off track.
Can you remember what it is you're trying to find?
Or is it lost in the smoke that's feeding your mind.
Don't loose hope we get more dope.
I hurt myself today to see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain the only thing that's real.
Everyday I find myself crying,
on the inside I am dying
Caring I do less and less.
My life has become one big mess.
This is my own addiction,
this agony is my own self affliction.
it's CRYSTAL clear, only I am to blame.
So each hour passes, and the damage is done
you soon realize, this drug is no longer fun.
So you scream for a friend. Of which you have none.
Your life has now ended. It's finished it's done.
Seconds ticked away the final hour. Taking away all choice and power.
And though I scream and try to fight, there is no one to hear.
That was the sweetest dream, nothing more than a nightmare.
Taste the freedom. In the white magic. Relief begins and soon turns tragic.
The only way home is through the fires of hell. Will he make it?
There is no way to tell...This is not a game.
Sad and depressed I just sit in my shell,
This descent into madness, my own personal hell.
Never get caught slipping, cause I'm forever tripping.
Now I'm scared I've gone too far, I can't get back to where you are.
And we will always be addicted. TILL DEATH DO US PART!
Where this crazy crystal dream ends...
your "friend"
Methamphetamine
