Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Letters to Kerry
Stories of Victory, Struggle, Tragedy, & Workplace Concerns
May 21 , 2006:
Hello Kerry
I heard about yourself and your website in a local paper and had to take a look at it. I am a sister of a crystal meth addict, and life is not easy.
My brother's name is Andy and he is addicted to both crystal meth and heroin. Our mother passed away in 1997 unexpectedly of a brain aneurism, and we were left with a father who was an alcoholic. Thank god for a wonderful extended family who welcomed us both into their homes to raise us as their own children, myself at 16, Andy 14.
Although they tried their hardest to help us Andy chose to go live with our father who had then resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope with his problems. I understand that Andy at this time made the choice to use drugs, but his father allowed it to happen. Now Andy is long gone.
My grandmother and I have been through hell and back with him. Showing up when things are good and he is off the drugs or in rehab, and then disappearing for up to a year, no idea where or who he is with. It is really scary and extremely hard on the heart.
After going through this for so long you just don’t know what to do. Do you help him? Or is that enabling him? Where do you draw the line? After going through this for about 7 years I had to make that decision. Whenever he would call and say he needed help my first instinct would be to help him, but I knew that there was nothing that I could do. He needed to want to help himself.
After nearly having a breakdown I had to look out for myself. I had to make the decision to let him go. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but I knew that I had to make that decision for myself.
Sometimes I feel selfish and wonder if I am doing the right thing, but then I remember that I can’t help him, he needs to want to help himself!
I still hear about him and am always wondering how he is doing and hoping that he is doing well, I pray for him every night. I just could never imagine having lived his life, and wouldn’t want it for anything.
I thank god everyday for the people that I have in my life who have supported me throughout this battle. It is not easy especially when it is someone you love and care about so much.
I guess what I want to say is that no matter what we do to try and help an addict we have to remember that they have to want to help themselves, and we can't let them bring us down with them.
I wish all who read this the best of luck in whatever challenges they may face!
Tara Gamble
I have a hard time with this perspective that the meth addict must WANT to help themselves. It has been shown scientifically that the part of the brain that is instrumental in making judgements, therefore enabling the decision to get help, is inactivated by methamphetamines*. Ryan only fleetingly wanted help and that was only in the beginning of his addiction. Yes, I do know of a few who have been able to reach that illusive "bottom" even on meth. They are the lucky ones that do not end up with induced bipolar or schizophrenia on top of their inactivated judgement AND have huge family and treatment support, still involving multiple relapses. The trouble is there is no way of determining, reliably, which meth user will develop mental illness and which will not.
My conclusion? We need to change the way we handle meth addicts EARLY in their addiction. They need our quick response with on demand care. For those we can't reach early, and who cannot commit to treatment, we need to be able to intervene on their behalf BEFORE they become clinically psychotic, ideally, and to enroll them into long-term fully rehabilitative treatment. We can learn a lot from other countries such as Vietnam who use this enforced treatment protocol successfully. – K
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*METH AND THE BRAIN: Streaming Video by Dr. Richard A. Rawson, Ph.D, Adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences at the David Geffen School of Medicine, University of California at Los Angeles:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/meth/body/methbrainflash.html
