Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Letters to Kerry
Stories of Victory, Struggle, Tragedy, & Workplace Concerns
June 15, 2006:
Hi Kerry. I am so truly sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I am a recovering alcoholic (sober 2.5 yrs at the time). I started dating (not really the appropriate word) a crystal meth addict, and in 18 months I myself, and every single aspect of my life, was affected negatively by the relationship. It severely damaged my sobriety and mental wellness.
We have not been together for more than a year now and I still do not feel the same way about life as I did before the relationship. I am not angry with Mike, because I knew he was an addict before we started to see each other. However, I truly did not know exactly what I was getting myself into in dealing with his crystal meth addiction. Looking back I was very naive.
Social services was involved with me and my son, because of Mike beating me up all the time. (He broke 2 of my ribs once).
My family was extremely scared for the safety of me and my child. If I didn’t open the door when he showed up unexpectedly, he would kick the door in. My neighbors to this day don't speak to me or even look at me. During our time together I was fired from my job because of him showing up there and phoning there too much. Always screaming.
Since we have broken up I have found out that Mike is a frequent visitor at the Gay Men’s bath house in the city I live in. Mike had a serious case of psychosis and was always asking me if I had called him a faggot. He has Hep C and now I'm so worried that I might have HIV.
I remember he told me that speed reverses hormones [sexual orientation] and I think that's important for people to know. The amount of Crystal Meth used in the gay community is alarming. I truly believe that if he did not use crystal he would not be going to gay bath houses. He is in my prayers all the time.
Kim
I haven't heard that crystal meth changes the sex hormones. I know that it does increase the libido such that anyone under its influence can be sexually stimulated by either gender if in close proximity ie: at a dance where everyone is packed in like sardines. I have heard of such a case. Thankfully this young man has fully recovered and returned to his inborn heterosexual identity.
My own son, Ryan, was forced into accepting a gay man's offer to take care of him in return for sexual service because, as he said through his terrified and tormented voice, "I don't want to hurt others mom" (by stealing). By this time he had become bipolar due to crystal meth and on disability income assistance. Since his illness (as well as his frontal lobe injury), not to mention his addiction, caused him to be unable to handle money, the one cheque he would get per month would be gone in a day or two. (One was spent on an expensive mountain bike, likely intended for courier work, only to end up in the pawn shop.) So he began to rely on this man for food, clothing, and most likely crystal meth in return for sexual service, though he had always been very happy as a heterosexual.
One of the last things Ryan told me three weeks before he committed suicide was "Mom, I'm not gay" slowly and quietly emphatic, three times in a row. It was important to him that I know that, even though I told him I just wanted him to be happy and healthy.
So it doesn't seem to me that crystal meth can permanently alter sexual orientation. What it would be like to be forced into an orientation that isn't your own we can only imagine with horror and great sadness. – K
