Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Letters to Kerry
Stories of Victory, Struggle, Tragedy, & Workplace Concerns
July 14, 2006:
Thanks for info on… but we explored this option last Sept. while [son, now 16] was still “only” abusing alcohol and was willing to enter treatment after getting drunk after I went to sleep, stealing my car and ending in up in a high speed police chase, luckily not hurting himself or anyone else, causing me over $1000 worth of damage to my car – he still has this to deal with in court next Jan. Since I still couldn’t put him anywhere he wasn’t willing to go, I could only offer him options… and he chose ___ where he unfortunately met hard drug users.
It’s really a waste of ministry/taxpayers’ money, and another deterrent to available successful treatment, when the programs that are funded do not follow-up with the clients or parents after the program has ended, to determine outcomes. ___ was really adamant about the commitment required by the addict so [son] would just get himself kicked out of anywhere he doesn’t want to be. I think I’ve explored pretty well all the options in BC and even though [son] has been at ___ 6 months now [very expensive private residential facility], I’m not 100% sure he’s personally fully committed to changing – I hope but cannot expect, which is why I need to be prepared for any outcome but at least I know he’s clean and safe while there [until September].
While I’m willing to stick to my guns and not have him home until I can feel safe with him here, I am still reluctant to have him turn to his drug friends where he could just end up worse off. I don’t know what the answer is and is why I do respect Dr. ___ the psychologist I’m currently seeing, because he agrees that no one has “the answer” and we just do the best we can.
I’ve read so much about possible causes of addiction and been told various things by various “professionals”, one actually saying any acting out including drug addiction is completely and totally the parents’ fault for not having a good relationship with the child, another telling me a couple of days after [son] had stolen my vehicle that it was none of my business if he saw his D & A counsellor, [Hospital] telling me they could do/recommend nothing except D & A counselling after my crying and pleading with them after spending the night at emergency with [son] for the 2nd time because of taking too much alcohol then acid another time. All I can do right now is try to have [son] clean for as long as possible and have the best relationship I can with him without enabling him in any way.
...I don’t mind my name being used because I talk to everyone about my situation (that’s how someone gave me an article with your website on it). I learn and share, am amazed at how many others tell me they have relatives or friends addicted as well after I’ve shared my experience, feel that being ashamed of my or my son’s situation is only detrimental, feel supported by those who don’t judge or look at me condescendingly because of this and don’t really care or want people in my life who would judge me negatively for this.
Marlene
