Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Letters to Kerry
Stories of Victory, Struggle, Tragedy, & Workplace Concerns
July 19, 2006:
My son is at risk for drug abuse. I have known this since he was very young. I obtained continual professional support for him from the age of 9 when he was diagnosed with ADHD, Tourettes’ Syndrome (very mild) and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
I extensively researched his conditions, obtained counseling, and tried very hard to work with the school system, the medical system and the social services system to help him find success. I found the system to be fragmented and much more frustrating than helpful.
After a year and a half of enduring taunting and bullying in high school, (followed from elementary school) which exacerbated his learning disability and ruined his self-esteem, he quit school at 16 with a grade 9 education. This is a child who is very bright, and has been an entrepreneur since the age of 8. He has run his own lawn-cutting business since the age of 12.
Because he would not follow any rules, and would not go to school, I was advised by counselors, and RCMP to put him out of the house, which we tried as a last resort. The police told him that night that he had a right to be in the home and he would not be charged for breaking in, which, of course, he did. This was basically his introduction to criminal activity, blessed in his mind, by the police. He was shocked when we charged him with mischief and obtained a restraining order.
I was told by Children’s Aid that my son needed to go home because he was a ‘good kid’ – even though he had a legal restraining order to not be within four blocks of our home. They had nothing to offer him, but a bus ride to another city to stay in a ‘safe house’ full of drug users, and only for three nights at that.
Not attending school, he got in with the wrong crowd and began stealing. The police did not catch him, but I did. I tried to report him and turn in the items, but the police said there was nothing they could do. Months later, I tried to access his files with the RCMP in an effort to confirm or dismiss reports from neighbours. I was not allowed to have that information without his consent.
So, I have to ask, what kid in trouble with the law is going to sign a consent form for his parents to be informed, right after he has been advised of his right to keep it ‘private’ or hidden from them?
And I also have to ask, how is it that I can be held responsible for him, and yet not have the right to access the information regarding the very same incidents that I can be held responsible for?
Even after obtaining his consent, the information was not released to the parents, it was given to our son for a second chance to keep the information from us, and a full explanation that he did have that right.
He was transported to emergency department by ambulance. A few months later, I received a bill for $54 from our local ambulance service for taking my son to the emergency ward. I did not know if he was being truthful about the reason he was taken to hospital, so I tried to confirm some information with the medical system. I was advised in writing that because my child is over the age of 12 years, I am not entitled to any information without his consent.
So, if I suspected that he was transported to hospital for a drug overdose, I do not have any power to get that information, but I am still held responsible to pay for the service. But, then, what good would it do to find out if he was drug addicted if the law gives him that right, and leaves his parents with no authority to mandate help?
When our youth discover how the systems work and don’t work, they take full advantage of it. They feel more powerful to make their own decisions, but they don’t have the maturity or knowledge to help them make good decisions. Our government is setting our kids up for this by giving them the power to decide that they wish to ruin their lives before they have even begun. The government’s answer to help the youth is the Youth Criminal Justice Act, which basically tries to ensure that there is no record in adulthood for stupid decisions they are enabled to make as kids. So, in their effort to help, our government is making it harder for parents to be responsible and take action to help our youth, and easier for kids to get into serious trouble with no consequences but illness or death.
I think Marlene exposed the absurdity of the drug rehab laws in her letter [July 14th]. An example of another absurdity is when kids end up in the care of the Ministry for Children and Families, and they are 13, 14, 15 years old, and they are given a smoking allowance, when one of the reasons they left the family home was too many rules, one of which was no smoking. The government then turns around and gives that youth a smoking allowance?….this is absurd.
I am currently working with my local MP, MLAs , RCMP, and Provincial officials to find a solution to the problems these laws are causing. I am collecting stories, conducting surveys, and listening to experiences of other parents to present to our lawmakers. Please let your readers know that I would be happy to present their questions and comments to these people on their behalf.
For those who wish to email their stories, concerns, questions and comments, please write to: icanseeclearlynow@hotmail.com
Gina, a concerned Mom, BC, Canada
