Drug and alcohol addiction and abuse. Recognition. Prevention. Treatment
20/20 Parenting. Recognizing and mitigating early vulnerabilities and risk factors.
Letters to Kerry
Stories of Victory, Struggle, Tragedy, & Workplace Concerns
Series of Letters from July 2006 to May 2007:
This is an amazing success story that spans the past year. If you know any children or youths with brain-related behaviour or learning problems, or drug or alcohol addiction, this is a must read!
NOTE: The health care professional who is credited with helping this boy has done a wonderful job, therefore I've included a link to his excellent article/link on this site*. This is the third person I know whom he has helped miraculously. (In case you are wondering, NO I am not receiving any sales commissions, finders fees, kick backs of any kind from any of my article contributors.)– K
July 4, 2006
Hi Kerry,
Thanks for reaching out to others. I heard your painful journey at the Langley meth forum. My 17 old son is experimenting with drugs and we are treading a similar path. I am frantically watching my son self-destruct, pleading for services. We need help and getting nowhere. In addition, my son has a diagnosis of asperger's, tourette's, bi-polar and ADHD. He is a rebel without a clue. If you have any advice, please let me know.
Later that day after my response:
Thanks for the advice. I made an appointment with Dr. Swingle for Michael. They had a cancellation tomorrow. Michael is not interested in getting help right now as he lacks reasoning skills, however, I have "bribed" him and he has agreed to go. Michael has never had any head traumas. The only time he bumped his head, was when he was a toddler, he slipped and hit his mouth on the bathtub.
Debra
July 9, 2006
Hi Kerry,
Thanks for the very informative newsletter. I am trying to educate myself in this area as much as possible.
Dr. Swingle did a brain map of Michael's brain. His feedback was accurate as I only gave him information about Michael afterwards. The good news is that he can help Michael. We will start the treatment next Friday.
Michael took off this weekend once again. I visited the RCMP on Thursday, telling them about Michael's plans to shoplift and do ecstasy. The constable was very helpful and gave me a list of things to do, which I did as best I could. On Friday, I phoned the Langley RCMP as suggested on the list, as Michael was planning to buy the "e" at Ethical Addictions on Friday. He demanded that I take him to Surrey Central, and on the way there, he said he was frightened as none of his friends would be there. He started to escalate and told me to take him to EA in Langley. I was anxious and pressed for time as my daughter was returning home from Vacation Bible School. I took him to Langley as I did not want to deal with his violent outburst while driving. When Michael did not return home last night, I phoned EA to see if he was there this morning, he had told me that he was meeting a boy there. They said they knew who he was and would let me know if he was there, at the time I phoned he wasn't. I phoned the Langley RCMP, they said they had not connected with Michael yesterday, but they would put me through to the Surrey RCMP to report he was missing.
I told the Surrey officer what had taken place. He proceeded to tell me that I had facilitated my son in buying drugs because I drove him to EA, and that it was not moral to keep Michael in the home where he traumatizes his siblings. He said I should kick him out and change the locks and then MCFD would be forced to put him into care. I broke down sobbing, as I know that if I kick him out, MCFD will not put him in care against his will. Also, [Michael’s pediatrician] said Michael would not last long as a street kid. This is something our [health] team has discussed at length. I tried to explain how frightening it is to deal with the outbursts, and it takes time for the RCMP to get here. I tried to explain that I am trying my best to redirect Michael and I am NOT facilitating my son in obtaining drugs. In fact I am trying everything in my power to steer him away from drugs. He was so abusive that I asked to speak to his supervisor. He then changed his attitude a little and said I am just not using my common sense.
Last night I went to a meeting in Vancouver run by From Grief to Action. I guess I was not prepared or ready to hear what this group of parents have been dealing with. I was overwhelmed and everything seemed surreal. I question why, as a society, we are not getting to the root cause. It felt like we are using a band-aid solution. I truly believe it is neurological. Kicking Michael out will not improve the situation. I feel Dr. Swingle is on the right path. If we can get to the root cause and strengthen the weak areas of Michael's brain, maybe he will become a functioning adult one day.
Thanks for listening. In addition to seeing Dr. Swingle next week, I am taking my other two children for counseling and I am meeting with our support team to plan our next step in Michael's care.
I would really like to meet with you.
Take care,
Debra
July 30, 2006
Hi Kerry,
Just to update you on Michael's situation. He has had four sessions with Dr. Swingle. Friday, a week ago, he was quite aggressive and went off partying. On Saturday night, apparently he took acid and became psychotic. I was told by a friend of his that he took off all his clothes, attacked a number of people, jumped through a window and lost consciousness. He phoned us at 5:30 am on Sunday, afraid of the people on the train. He was even paranoid once Matthew picked him up, of our kitten. Since then he has been ill and looks awful. He did go to Dr. Swingle since that episode. He did not go out this weekend and is still very ill. He has started wetting his bed. One of the counselors at Dr. Swingle's office gave me your article in the Vancouver Courier. I cried when I read it, I feel your desperation, the way you phoned the police and didn't get much support. I continually phone them and visit the RCMP and they just don't have the time to help me. I am so afraid and feel trapped and helpless. I phoned a number that I found in Michael's clothes. A father of one of the kids who witnessed the incident answered. He told me what his daughter had told him about last Saturday night. He then went on to tell me to give Michael opportunity to do other activities and create other interests. I felt like screaming. We did try many sports, the only one he enjoyed was swimming. We tried different musical instruments. He plays the violin beautifully. He excelled and won awards for speech and drama. He excelled academically. He writes short stories and poetry and a magazine would like to publish one of his essays. The opportunity list continues.
Dr. Swingle says he can help Michael. This is the hope we are clinging to. I know I am a good mother and Michael lacked for nothing. [Our drug and alcohol counselor] as well as our social worker, have suggested I kick Michael out. I promised I would write a letter to Michael giving him an ultimatum. This is tearing me apart. Michael's psychiatrist, who is a guru in asperger's/autism said if I kick him out, Michael will die. Yet [our drug and alcohol counselor] is right too, he could die anyway the way he is choosing to do drugs.
I apologize for not meeting with you. I'm trying to keep my head above water.
Thanks once again for your exceptional work. You truly are an inspiration and I believe Ryan would be very proud of you.
Debra.
May 18, 2007
Hi Kerry,
Sometime ago I spoke to you about my son, Michael, who was experimenting with street drugs. I did not think we would celebrate his 18th birthday. You suggested I take him to Dr. Swingle. We have been going up to three times a week over the last year. Michael has not taken drugs for the last six months, he has even given up tobacco smoking. We are slowly getting our son back. Kerry, you gave me the courage to go on. Thank you. I am keenly aware of a relapse and take each drug free day as a special gift.
Take care,
Debra
I was overwhelmed with tears of joy when I read this. It came at a time when I was questioning whether I was really making much of a difference for all my efforts and personal donations. The excitement and deep appreciation propelled me into responding with congratulations, appreciation for informing me, and wish for us to meet finally.....in July as they've been busy moving. I have so many questions! – K
May 19, 2007:
Kerry, believe me, you are making a huge difference. When I thought I was losing Michael, I have never felt so alone and desperate. It was at that time that I met you at the workshop in Langley... Your journey threw a life-line out to me. I would be honoured to share our journey, if it can help others in a small way. I know if I had not taken Michael to Dr. Swingle, our story would have been a tragic one.
Take care,
Debra
*Learn more about Dr. Swingle's work with brain related problems (many, including brain injury) by reading: Neurotherapy: Drug Free Treatment for Traumatic Brain Injury
